<b>Stress-free Diet Tips</b>
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it,
it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories
in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count
if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as
hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories
because they are part of the entertainment package
and not part of one's personal fuel. Examples: Milk Duds,
Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots & Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of
breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories
if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number
of calories. Examples are: Spinach & Pistachio Ice
Cream; Mushrooms & Mashed Potatoes.
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted
for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This
is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no
calories since the calories rightfully belong to the
other person and will cling to his/her plate.
(We all know how calories like to cling!!)
REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.
Today's Joke Courtesy of Joke-Mail.com