<b> I trust that, you put this money in my coffin.</b>

Joke Plus.com

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take
all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor
and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be
held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin
when I die so I can take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.
Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke
into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000
into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a
new baptistery.

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the
doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we
needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you,"
he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my
envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check
for the full $30,000."

JOKE of the Week Courtesy of Joke-Mail.com

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It was a bitterly contested divorce hearing, and after
three weeks of bitter acrimony, the judge was ready
to hand down his decision.

The judge said, "Mr. Johnson, after hearing both sides
of the case, we find that you are at fault, and therefore
the court will give your wife alimony at six hundred
dollars a month."

Johnson replied, "Thanks, your Honor. And to show I'm
not such a bad guy, I'll throw in a hundred myself."

2nd Joke Courtesy of JokesintheMail.com

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QUOTE of the Week Courtesy of The-Mouth.com

"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ....

turned me over and said, Look ... twins!"

- Rodney Dangerfield

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LAUGH of the Week Courtesy of The-Mouth.com

THE RULES

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she
must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a
flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did
or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately
for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express
written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any
time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the
Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male
know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at
all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female
meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he
can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void
and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily
harm.

18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must
refer to Rule #5.

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