One birth day; one marriage anniversary - Eight American Marriages

By M Rama Rao, India Editor, Asian Tribune

Jal Dastur, Jalsaab to some like me, Jal Kaka to many others, is an interesting person. He is always on call duty at Meherabad. In his capacity as a resident and as a trustee. Meherabad is a huge estate with a state highway and a rail road slicing it into two unequal halfs. Jal hops around the sprawling estate through the day carrying his age lightly. One day I told him – 'you put to shame youngsters not even half your age by your agility'. 'So you are oldish youngman', I said, in the earshot distance of his wife, Dolly. She did not take lightly to my remark. ‘How dare you call him old’, she thundered. She is the ‘Prayer Aunty’ to the kids, and Pesh Imam to the grownups because she announces the prayer time every day at the Baba Tomb
By M Rama Rao, India Editor, Asian Tribune

New Delhi, 12 March (Asiantribune.com): Jal Dastur, JalsaabMeher Baba to some like me, Jal Kaka to many others, is an interesting person. He is always on call duty at Meherabad. In his capacity as a resident and as a trustee. Meherabad is a huge estate with a state highway and a rail road slicing it into two unequal halfs.

Jal hops around the sprawling estate through the day carrying his age lightly. One day I told him – 'you put to shame youngsters not even half your age by your agility’.

'So you are oldish youngman', I said, in the earshot distance of his wife, Dolly.

She did not take lightly to my remark. ‘How dare you call him old’, she thundered. She is the ‘Prayer Aunty’ to the kids, and Pesh Imam to the grownups because she announces the prayer time every day at the Baba Tomb

I meekly replied: ‘No, No, Mam, I am not calling him old’. As people began to gather around us, I added: ‘I am only saying Jalsaab is very young man and not so old.’

Every one burst out laughing. Dolly and Jal joined us.

Jal and Dolly are a happy couple. Lovely people to meet and converse. They celebrated their marriage anniversary two days after Meher Baba observed his birth day. And threw a grand party. Invited every one they came across. And the party was talk of the town.

Is this fortieth your anniversary, I asked Jalsaab as he was personally extending an invitation to Bhau Kalchuri, the Trust Chairman. Don’t ask me how I arrived at the figure 40. A wild guess it was.

‘What forty Man. We have already made a half-century. Now it is ours 53rd anniversary,’ Jalsaab replied.

‘Oh! That is eight American marriages’, exclaimed Lynn, an American on a visit to the Trust office, from a corner of the room. He manages a mail group and Bhau internet chats from his American perch. From his remarks springs this week’s headline, in a manner of speaking. Not necessarily because it is a telling commentary on society America and society India.

Later that day, in the evening, after the daily aarati, prayers and bhajans at the Tomb shrine, I asked Jalsaab ‘Tell me, how you came in contact with Meher Baba’.

‘Because of Dolly’, he said matter of factly.

His narration of events right from their love at first sight to their marriage threw up an interesting facet of Meher Baba’s life – caring of all those who loved him and who come in contact with him.

Dasturs are high priests amongst the Iranis. Iranis and Parsis consider Meher Baba as a great spiritual soul but are reluctant, at least a large percentage, to accept him as the Avatar, like Zoroaster.

As a Dastur himself, how did Jal handle the opposition in Mumbai’s only Irani colony they lived in those good old days? The very mention of Meher Baba’s name used to invite a hostile reception in the Irani/Parsi community and their dailies and other publications. He appeared to relive the bygone days for a while. Later, he smiled and said 'Well, we survived the storm'.

As I pressed him, he gave full credit for the feat to Baba. When Baba heard that a young Irani was 'regularly seeing' Dolly, he directed his local disciples, Arnawaz and her husband to give an update on Jal and expressed a desire to see the 'boy'. They are Dolly's guardians. He was pleased by their 'report'. Also with the 'boy' who presented himself for an 'interview' during one of his visits to Mumbai.

Baba called Dolly and asked her, 'Do you want to marry Jal'. She said 'Yes'. He blessed the two youngsters to lead a 'happy and long' married life.

In his own words, Jalsaab had led a 'fiery' and 'carefree' life as a youngman, but as he recollects his days in the shipping industry and other businesses like readymade exports, he has a sense of satisfaction. The rigorous 'on-sight' training instilled in him a sense of discipline. It also imbued him with a 'Do it' spirit whatever be the odds. Above all, 'the trades I had handled taught me how to face any situation with a smile'.

All these experiences are coming in handy as he handles the daily rush of pilgrims 'without in any way physically disturbing the arrangements that have been there from the days Baba lived here'.

'What about your parents? Did your father accept Dolly and Baba?'

Jal said his parents welcomed Dolly with open arms. They embraced Baba also. 'My father wanted to see Baba. It was not possible as Baba was in seclusion. He passed away a week after expressing the wish'.

Farooq Bastani is not in the Jalsaab-Dolly age bracket. But he has vivid memories of Meher Baba. As a child he played in the presence of Meher Baba and enjoyed his 'pyar'.

His mother was a regular at Baba’s house in Pune. ‘We are their neighbours. Baba’s mother liked my mom’.

What about your father?

‘He did not come in the way of my mother. Never. He was content playing money business- losing, earning, losing, earning. Where was the time for him for anything else'.

'How was the atmosphere sixty years back in Pune', I asked him as we settled for a quick lunch. He gave an example from his own life.

"We have only one sister. She died very young. Everyone in the family and friends circle taunted my mother – What a god you have got? He cannot save your darling daughter. She had put up with all those taunts stoically. My mother knew the little one is dying of cancer. But you see, she is the mother. Grief is something difficult to hide.

'She used to see Baba but never asked him to cure the kid. He told her once to take every thing in her stride. She believed Baba implicitly and did as told. On the day my sister died, Eruch (Meher Baba’s personal secretary) came to see her. He said Baba himself had sent him to see her. He was with her for a few minutes and left.

'Do you know what she said afterwards? 'Mummy! Baba has come to see me', she said with half closed eyes, and slipped into coma never to recover’. In later years, I asked some of our close circle who were regulars at Baba’s place, 'Did any one of you ask him to cure my sister. One of them said, 'I asked Baba when he was at Guru Prasad (a sprawling house in Pune where Meher Baba used to stay during summer). The moment I raised the topic, he became angry ……'

Do you recollect any naughty incident from your childhood visits to Guru Prasad?

'Yes, I do', Bastani replied. ‘Baba asked me and other children not to disturb him by running around the place. He was in seclusion. As I ran around the place, I tried to look in his direction. Immediately, I felt as if hit on my chest with a huge force. I ran out in fear. I told Eruch about the incident and asked him, 'Was Baba angry with me?' He asked me not to worry. 'Baba was not angry with you. Don’t worry. He knows you are all kids’, Eruch assured me. But I cannot forget that day. It is still fresh in my memory'.

Bastani is full of Baba stories. He moved to Meherabad a couple of years back after spending long years in New York at the World Trade Centre. 'I left the WTC just two days before 9/11', he said, as I told him that I had been to WTC after the first ever attack on the building in the early nineties 'out of sheer curiosity' while on an assignment to cover the United Nations.

I landed at Meherabad on Feb 24 a day before the Baba’s birth day. I expected to see a grand celebration. I was disappointed. Not many crowds were there though the Tomb Shrine was beautifully decorated befitting the occasion. From around 3.30 AM till about 8 AM, for over five hours, the place reverberated to the beat of drums and strains of guitars as hymns were sung. There afterwards, silence descended on the hill top like on any other normal day.

Debjani saw my puzzled look and provided the 'missing' link. "Even when Baba was physically present amongst our midst, he did not want people to come to him on his birthday". A Canadian-Indian, she is a Meherabad resident, heading 'Meher Selfless Service Opportunities', a corps of volunteers drawn from diverse backgrounds and nationalities.

" 'Celebrate the day in your place. Not here', Baba used to say. That advice is followed to this day", Debjani said. Minutes later a volunteer pushed into my hand an invitation for a grand gala evening of bhajans and kirtans at Ahmednagar centre

-Asian Tribune-